Friday, 18 October 2019

Need some perspective on whether to contact a friend who’s pet died

Hello Reddit - I (male, not sure if it’s relevant) have a coworker (female, again unsure if it’s relevant) who I’m decent enough friends with and who I’ve talked a little bit about her dogs. She recently told me about a procedure that the dog went through and it didn’t go well. I let her know that I’m available to listen if and when...but also prob fucked up by telling her “Chin up.” I meant it with the right intentions but now realized I probably shouldn’t have ended it with that.

Anyways, I came to learn second hand that her dog passed a couple nights ago. I’ve never had a pet of significance (only fish when I was a kid), so I really don’t know what’s the right approach to pass condolences, or if it’s even appropriate.

She’s pretty shielded/private and I’m not exactly sure how to proceed. Is it okay to text “I’m sorry about [dog’s name], I know you cared for her.”? Or something to that extent? Or is it best to be left alone until if/when she brings it up? I feel conflicted because I feel as if I could come off as pressing a further conversation which I had left open to her (I sometimes question whether I come off as too pressing to begin with, seeing how private she is). Anyways, I would welcome the conversation but at the same time recognize that some people may want to grieve in their own.

I should emphasize that she has not told me about the pups passing; my boss mentioned it as she knows me and the coworker are friends.

Thanks all.

TLDR: A coworkers pet passed and I’m unsure if I should make first contact or wait.

Edit: I’m not sure why “Aww” flair was added to this...I don’t believe it should apply.

submitted by /u/justhereforthecomets
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/djpfcr/need_some_perspective_on_whether_to_contact_a/

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