My beautiful cat who was around for the past 15 years of my life passed away yesterday after a long battle with cancer and a large tumour on her jaw.
The first time we took her to the vet after noticing problems was all the way back in late October, just before my exams. Lots of tests were done but before the results came back my entire family genuinely thought she was going to die, and I remember looking at her and crying my eyes out, wondering how I could possibly deal with such a thing. Thankfully that wasn't the case and she stuck around.
The four months after that, however, were difficult to witness. Seeing my cat slowly wither away to a shell of herself and find it more difficult to groom herself and do day-to-day things was a tough time. Every single time we took her back to the vet, it was made out to be as if she wasn't coming back. The past weekend she declined dramatically and we all knew it was the end. I cried and cried and cried a little more.
What I'm finding difficult to come to terms with is how the rest of my family makes comments such as 'it's already not the same without her' when in all honesty I cannot say the same thing, which is an awful thing to say. Being sick, she no longer wanted to be touched as often, stopped touching me and being as affectionate she she used to and became very secluded, which I respected and I feel it's this that has probably made me feel this way, as she was still alive, but wasn't herself (but that's not her fault). I look back at videos and photos from before she was sick and am brought to tears because that is the loving, affectionate and full of life cat that I remember. It's been four months since I first came to terms with such grief so part of me wants to believe that the reason I feel this way is because it was a long time between when it first became apparent it was the beginning of the end and the end and so I've had a long time to process such emotions. The other part of me thinks I'm a horrible person for not missing her as much as I should, but this doesn't make me love her any less than I do.
Is this normal?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/f9k4nj/cat_passed_away_yesterday_and_im_feeling_guilty/
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