Hi all, this is a kind of cross post with added info. (TL;DR at the end)
We adopted a new cat for our resident male cat (Walter). In my last post I said he was six months old but I checked his adoption papers and hes actually 8 months now. He is very sweet, social, and playful- he can get rough sometimes but never aggressive.
We adopted the 1 year old female cat (who we just renamed as Phoebe). In my last post I explain how friendly they were in the initial steps of introduction. Wally saw the new cat before I could get her in her own separated space- no hissing at all. Phoebe would rub up against the door and all in all seemed totally fine, Wally would scratch at the door (like he's trying to get in) with no hissing yet.
The second step we put Wally in his bed carrier with the door slightly open so he didn't feel trapped ( we incorporated lots of treats). I was so excited because there was no hissing, growling, or upright hair. Wally did stick his paw out and tap her but it seemed more curious than scared. The new cat rubbed up against the carrier.
After the separation and scent introduction my fiance and I held each cat in our lap and let them smell/lick each other. Phoebe was purring and Wally was licking her/ nibbling? He did tap her with his paw, no nails, and to me it seemed playful.
We let them roam on our laps and he gripped her neck with his paw and bit under her neck, which seemed sort of playful .(no upright hair, ears normal, no hissing or growling) The second time he did this was a little more rough and made me worried. She gave a little hiss and I separated him.
Today I tried by myself and brought both of them onto the bed, giving them treats when they laid close to each other. Wally seems like he wants to play. Phoebe purrs when around him, which is good- there was no hissing.
Wally still is being too rough and will bite her neck/ under her neck and then roughly groom her head. she didn't his but did let out a sad little meow while swatting at him- no nails.
Someone said they could be playing but Wally biting under her neck really worries me. They're both good cats- I've already fallen in love with phoebe and would hate for this to not work out. I don't think he knows how to play gently.
What can I do, does this sound okay? Am I being over dramatic? they haven't shared floor space yet, when should I try this?
TL;DR: I'm afraid my male resident cat (8 months) is playing too rough with my new female cat (1 year old). How do I stop this? and how do I continue the introduction process?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/faf6ax/male_cat_being_too_rough_with_female_cat_help_me/
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