Tonight, I have done one of the hardest things I have ever needed to do. I put my shihtzu Toby, to sleep. The pain is unimaginable. I am crying as I write this post feeling guilty for feeling this bad when I know Toby is no longer in pain. He was 14 years old and he's been having balance issues and wouldn't eat. I held him in my arms during his last moments. Before the doctor came in, I told Toby I loved him and he looked me in my eyes and kissed my chin. I think he knew it was time and he was trying to comfort me. I miss him so much. Can someone please tell me it gets better? because right now I feel like someone tore something so meaningful to me right from inside of my body. Everything hurts. My heart. My mind. My spirit. The only thing that I keep telling myself is that he's no longer suffering. He is no longer in pain. I would rather be the one feeling the pain I do now, than to see him fall, not eat, or just die slowly and painfully. Toby was my best friend and slept with me at night. Words cannot describe how lonely I feel and how painful the wounds of his loss are. The love I have for him is the only love I really know. He knew he was loved. I know that he loved me. He stays alive in my heart and in my mind. I don't know what else to really say here except to express in words, my love for the greatest brother and friend I've ever had. I love you Toby...Rest in peace.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/qdvx5o/put_my_dog_to_sleep_tonight/
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