First of all, here's a key so it's not confusing
- Derek = Old/First Cat (moved to another home) (6-7 year old)
- Shadow = Current Cat 1 (10-11 year old)
- Poppy = Current Cat 2 (2-3 year old)
When me and my partner got our first rented house together, we saw this cute ginger cat on the fence. We named him Derek (even though he was a girl, long story for another day). He adopted us, he moved in, and loved living with us. After him being with us for a year, we thought he was lonely since he was constantly playful. So we adopted another cat, a small, cute, little, timid girl called Shadow. They didn't get on to begin with, Derek didn't want to be friends with her at all.
They eventually just got used to each others presence after a good 6 months and then tolerated each other, they'd sleep on the same bed or in the same room eventually and greet each other, but they'd never snuggle or play with each other.
We all lived together well for 2 years and then we ended up buying a house down the road. 6 months in, Derek stopped coming to our house and moved into the old peoples home down the road. It's fair enough, he gets all the affection from there since we work 5 days a week.
We thought after a bit that Shadow was lonely as she became more clingy and needy. So we started looking for another cat. We saw this one cat called Poppy, 2-3 years old looking for a forever home. She seemed so sweet and lovely... so we went for it thinking it would be like how Derek and Shadow were to each other.
Now... Poppy is a handful. We've had her for 3 months and she does NOT get on with Shadow. Since we got her, Shadow has been so quiet and distant with us because Poppy is VERY needy, clingy, vocal. But shes also so affectionate. She CONSTANTLY wants fuss (the type of fuss that she will meow at you until you fuss her, and once you stop fussing her, she will immediately meow at you until you do it again). This makes Shadow just run away and hide all the time.
I feel so bad because Shadow is this sweet little girl that, now that i think about it, was just coming out of her shell once Derek moved out. And we've kind of smashed the house dynamic by bringing Poppy into it.
Poppy has also had a lot of vet issues (she had a scrap with Shadow and got a cut on her ear, so then she scratched it excessively till it bled so she had the ''cone of shame" on. Then she got this weird skin issue on her back so we got some cream and stuff for it. She was so stressed with the cone and cream so she was pooing everywhere. Its been chaotic!). All of this has caused Shadow to go in her shell even more.
Is this just a phase because Poppy is still kind of new (3 months) or shes just still pretty young? Any advice that you can give us will help please.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/e3dbxo/issues_with_the_dynamics_in_our_household/
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