it's 3am and I'm crying about this and just wanted to get it off my chest. I got an 8 week old puppy (who is now 11months) right before I hit the roughest patch of my life that I almost didn't even make it through.. at around 12 weeks for her everything started to fall apart for me and it felt like the limits of how much emotional pain I could endure was being tested. I love my dog so much and I know she loves me but it breaks me up sometimes and I just cry wishing I could've given her a better puppy-hood. More attention, more patience, more understanding. I yelled at her when she'd pooped on my shaggy carpet for the 6th time in a row or when she peed on my pillow and when I see her puppy pictures I just see how small and fragile she was and she didn't know any better and it really wasn't her fault I should've been taking her out more diligently but it was so hard for me to keep track of and those little things just felt like the last few drops it took to overflow my capacity for stress and sometimes I'd just break down and cry. I feel bad that she had to hear me cry and scream in my closet some nights when everything was crashing down on me. I feel like she could've had a better puppy hood with someone who wasn't so horribly depressed and it breaks my heart that I've shaped her personality around the worst times of my life. I was never horrible to her or neglected or abused her or anything but just knowing that she loved me so much and just wanted to make me happy and what she must've felt for me to get upset with her I just wish I could go back and change things and do better for her but all I've been trying to do now is give her a happy full life with lots of cuddles and dog park trips and games of fetch. I know I can't ever replace her puppyhood but I can make sure she doesn't have to feel sad or scared of me ever again and I hope she forgives me.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/mb9n42/a_better_puppy_hood/
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