We are in an extremely difficult situation presently with my cat and wanted to seek your advice.
My 12-year old cat Bean is and has been a wonderful cat for all of my time with her.
Unfortunately, Bean displays incidents of fear aggression. There have been several incidents with Bean.
- When she was 3 years old she was with my in laws. My father in law always played with Bean with his hands. Bean has never liked this. She likes to be touched gently instead. My in laws were watching sports and my father in law was getting loud and cheering. He was being playful and gave my mother in law a head noogie when suddenly Bean attacked my father in law. She jumped on his back and scratched him drawing blood, and bit him. Following the incident with my father in law, Bean was very skittish for a long time. Random loud and sudden sounds in the apartment would trigger Bean to show anxiety and fear aggression that was misdirected at the people in the home.
- After this incident she was very skittish. 3 weeks after my father in law, my wife was getting some towels out of her linen closet and when she closed the closet with just a normal amount of force, the typical sound the door made triggered Bean to then attack her. She jumped on her back and dug her claws in, and it was hard to get her off.
- Another time within that year Bean did the same thing to my mother in law.
- 4-5 years ago she attacked me in the midst of myself and my wife arguing. We were admittedly raising our voices and this triggered Bean to get anxious and aggressive. As I was leaving the apartment to prevent things from getting out of hand, Bean lunged at the door. She then redirected her aggression to my wife.
It took a while for Bean to feel comfortable around me after that. Following this incident we used the kennel to try to de-escalate Bean when she got nervous.
We have tried products like feliway and rescue remedy and other natural supplements to help with her anxiety. Unfortunately, they never really worked. What has been the most effective was everyone around Bean modifying our behaviors (limiting very loud noises and when she does display anxious behaviors calming her down with a treat/redirecting her attention). With these techniques we thankfully haven't had an incident with Bean in 4 and a half years.
During these 4 and a half years, she has been so loving to me and has gotten to trust me fully again. She always has a candy-cane tail and she makes herself very comfortable, laying on her back and being social with us. We are very happy that Bean has been feeling good and has improved so much in these past years since those incidents. She most frequently likes to relax and is very good natured and very sweet but Bean will still occasionally become anxious with sudden noises/loud voices (anxiously comes up to one of us, rubs up against us and wraps the tail around the leg), but we are able to reassure her and diffuse the situation with treats or by distracting her.
Recently (January of this year), we gave birth to a baby girl. When we brought the baby home and the baby was crying, Bean started displaying anxious behaviors again. She had her body low to the ground and she appeared to have a stalking posture with dilated eyes and she was coming closer to my wife and the baby. We separated them immediately before anything could potentially happen.
Out of desperation we’ve given the baby's bedroom to Bean. My wife and I go into the room several times a day to play with her and feed her. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment and we keep Bean separate from the baby at all times, using the bedroom doors. We let Bean out a few times a day when the baby is in the other room sleeping.
We feel very sad about the whole situation. We don't like that Bean is in another room away from the family, but I'm also extremely anxious that Bean could harm the baby. We need help and advice with this situation.
In your experience and having considered all this, what do you think is the best course and most realistic course of action?
We were wondering if medication would be something that could help bean integrate with our family. Do you think medication and supervision would be sufficient in controlling this situation so that a violent event would not arise?
If the medication works, how do we introduce Bean to the baby?
Are there any other strategies or avenues that you feel may be helpful in dealing with this situation?
Thank you very much for your time. I really appreciate any help or suggestions you can offer.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/m4nric/anxietyaggression_in_my_cat_and_now_have_a/
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