I'm at a loss and don't know what to do.
Background: I had dogs before moving in with my husband. His mother worked at a vets office for 12 years, has rehabilitated probably close to 100 kittens, they had 12 cats when I met him and still have 5, and have re-home cats after many years of ownership.
Currently, my husband would die for his 12 yr old cat. She isn't super affectionate but is more so with him.
When we moved in together 5 years ago we wanted another cat and our friend found an 8 week old kitten in her dumpster. That cat has been basically acted feral her whole life now. She is un-petable, very skidish and timid, like gets scared if you make eye contact too long and hides for the rest of the day when cutting her nails. Sometimes she'll let only me pet her only when I'm very calm and under the covers in bed, but I think because I'm the primary feeder. She loves our older cat but my husband and I agree our older cat would've been just as happy in a single cat household.
The problems, 1) the younger cat pees in our bed sometimes, but it seems to be mostly when the litterbox isn't cleaned for 2-3 days or when we have company over and there's lots of loud noises and activity. 2) She shreds and chews things. She's ruined a purse and my wedding dress.
A couple days ago she scratched up my husbands $500 sentimental boots he put under the bed. I try to put things away to where she can't get. But now he's really pressuring me to agree to shelter her.
My opinion is that we don't stimulate her enough and she's bored. I cry thinking about her being terrified in a shelter and never being adoptable. I believe pet ownership is for life and we haven't done everything possible.
But will she ever change? Is this actually a reason to re-home a pet?
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/m5d0fr/husband_wants_to_rehome_cat_after_5_years_if/
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