My whole life growing up no one has ever cared about our pet except me. Starting at a young age my parents would get me and my brothers cats every time the other cat had passed or was missing. And this was like every 1 or two because my parents would train them to be outdoor cats. (Cats weren’t the only victims but I’m just focusing on them) and every time something bad would happen to the cat they would pin the blame on me because “I didn’t take care of it properly” even though I was 5 and it always made me cry myself to sleep for a long while. And watching pet after pet be treated wrongly elementary school me started being more internalized disturbed. My mom always wants to do these things like getting pets then she proceeds to threaten the give her away when the cat scratches the couch. My family constantly makes me feel disturbed, and I feel like I can’t complain because they can be nice people and do stuff for me. And back in august my mom got us another cat which I named Gracie. And naturally my moms would make me take Gracie outside starting from when she was a kitten, so that Gracie would like the outdoors. And I hated how Gracie did like the outdoors because I just knew the fate that lies ahead and now that I’m old enough this was the actual first cat that I could properly take care of. And just tonight around 9 Gracie begged to go outside and I thought it would be fine because she always comes back, because she would just go into our backyard and look around then come back inside. But now it’s been back 1 am and she hasn’t returned and it makes me feel useless knowing how my family members are going to make fun of me even though I’m 13. One time my entire family immediate and extended were laughing (rich in front of me) how one time my mom nudged the cat far away. My family all around has always made fun of me for things and made me feel useless since I was like 5, they’ve made fun of 7 year old me crying over my cat because “It’s just a cat”.And they’ve always made me hide away negative emotions so I would always have to wait to cry until I was in my room.The way how my family has been doing things like these since I was young had made me feel super drawn to animals and anxious about them. And I can’t fall asleep because my cat hasn’t returned and I just know that my family will have a good laugh about this. And everyday I always make myself know that it’s my fault for everything that has happened. And once again I feel like I can’t complain because my parents growing up had a bad childhood from growing up in communism and have to immigrant to escape bad presidents.
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from Pets https://www.reddit.com/r/Pets/comments/lyy9e7/i_just_feel_so_useless/
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